Sussex v Cornwall

After travelling all the way to Oxford, only to return with egg on our faces, three fines for driving in a restricted area and leaving one jumper and a pair of shoes behind…surely, things could only get better.

Our visitors today were Cornwall Golf Captains. They’d set off before dawn to arrive at West Hove. The big question was, would home advantage count? Could we beat a county who don’t know the right way to dress a scone? Would we get creamed? And, if so, would they top it off with jam? Or, would all our hopes be scone? (Ok, that’s enough of that nonsense. Ed)  

Anyway, on with the match.

Match 1

Richard Jays (Captain) and Norman Milburn v Colin Beadle (Captain) and Phil Hodges

Colin and Paul played very well. It was a close game. Norman tired over the last four and left his Captain to soldier on on his own. Sadly, he was not up to the job, and we failed to start the team off with a win (But you had the home-ground advantage, and it was your partner's home club! Ed) Lost 2&1

Match 2

Phil Williamson and Bryan Mundy v Phill Bott and John Bertie

Sussex got off to an early lead. Amazing chipping and putting from both sides earned a string of halved holes. Cornwall then began the charge for home, taking the match to the last hole. One last heroic chip and putt saw Sussex run out winners. Won 2 Up.

Match 3

Bev Legg and Jon Gross v Gary Faraway and John Rumbold

Gary and John earned a half on the last hole, with Mr Rumbold sinking a 14ft putt on the 18th. The result was even more impressive as injury (What was it? The readers want to know. Ed) forced Gary to walk in after the front nine. Well played, chaps!! (Chap, surely? Ed) Half

Match 4

Keith Talbot and Norman Beaney v Mike Norfolk & Steve Cox

The first two holes were exchanged, followed by a half, and then Mike rudely drove the fourth green! To add insult to injury, Steve also birdied the next hole. The loss of three more holes left us five down after nine. Mike outrageously drove the par 4, 11th. Despite a minor comeback, we were soundly thrashed. We thoroughly enjoyed the company despite the tears. Mike played the last fifteen holes in two over par gross, and Steve added several pars and a birdie to compound our misery. We had Norfolking chance. Lost 6&5

Match 5

Andy Plowright and David Balfour v Andrew London and Beau Meagor

A close game with Andrew and Beau two up after two, all square after four and then it was very tight for the rest of the round. The sh*&s (?) helped but David and Andy fitted together beautifully, and we both parred 17 to win the game. Won 2&1

Match 6

Ken Penfold and Mick Grimes v Steve Davies and John Stanforth

This was a very close game: 1 down, all-square, one down and so on. The two Cornish gents (John) played well. Unfortunately, Sussex could not match Somerset’s (I’m pretty sure we were playing Cornwall. Hang on, I’ll check…Ed) consistent play. It was a brilliant day and great company, although we finally lost on 17 and couldn’t square the match on 18. Lost 1 Down.

Match 7

Andy Lamb and Trevor Haeger v Chris Dennis and Jim McKenzie

The only consolation was Mickey lost as well! We were up against it from the start. A very steady level gross from our opponents gave us little or no chance, even with lots of shots. Apart from that, we had a nice day, and we are now looking forward to the grand carvery and the famous pudding trolley.  Lost 4&3.

Match 8

Colin Prior (92) and Peter Hawley v Graham Perkyn and Tony Pope

Graham and Tony were excellent company. Tony and Colin bonded from the first hole and made a lovely couple (Annie says Tony is welcome to him. Ed). The golf was close all the way round. Sussex were one down on the 18th tee and very nearly got a half, but Graham’s putt saw Cornwall edge it. Lost 1 Down.  

Result Sussex 2 ½ - 5 ½ Cornwall

So, there you have it, we got creamed. Things were so bad that even the dynamic duo, Mickey Grimes and Andy Lamb, both lost. On the plus side, everyone enjoyed the day, the carvery was good and, as ever, the dessert menu was outstanding.

This defeat means we’ve won two, lost two and halved one. Up next are the Sussex Lady Captains at East Brighton.