London v Sussex

Sussex are hot stuff in star-studded Ealing Comedy!

Always one of the most enjoyable matches of the year, this hotly contested fixture usually results in a win for Sussex. This time, on the hottest day of the year, we were off to Ealing GC, with its lightning-fast greens, open fairways and the River Brent making it a burning cauldron (Yes, ok, we get it, it was hot. Ed).

The Captains took the wise decision to let each match decide if they wanted to walk in after 8 or 11 holes. It is worth noting they were the only match that did so! Lightweights…

Match 1

Richard Jays and Brian Hooker v David Snare and Henri Henriques

Richard decided it was too hot and took the decision to come off after 8! (It is always about you. Ed). David used his shots well on the first four holes, but his game fell apart when he lost his cigars. Henri's day was ruined when he discovered his wedding ring was missing. After provisionally booking a hotel in the far north of Scotland, a kind soul put him out of his misery and gave it back. Half.

Match 2

Andy Lamb and Andy Plowright v Paul Barrett and Tracy Pearcy (Ealing Captain)

Testing out Richard's new policy of pairing people with the same first name, Andy and Andy entertained the Ealing Captain. This was a tight game, it was close all the way round with Andy and Andy one up on the 18th tee. Tracy, like her namesake, released her Thunderbird to two feet, for a two to halve the match. Half.

Match 3

Keith Talbot and Keith Oliver v CK Lee and Patrick Clasby

Keith and Keith got off to a flying start, with Keith winning the first two holes. Thereafter, holes were exchanged until we reached the ninth all-square. Gradually, Keith, with a few guest appearances from Keith, built up a lead and Sussex ran out winners. CK and Patrick provided great company. They were astonished by Keith's magnificent putting. A fine debut from the Highwoods man. Won 4&3.

Match 4

Joe Angella and Willie Dunn v John Wright and Mayur Patel (MV)

It was a pleasure to watch Keith and Keith play. John and MV were excellent company. We were unsure about the handicaps when John received 11 shots and outdrove everyone! It was an entertaining match with the London pair rarely hitting a fairway but somehow managing to take the lead. This was especially galling as Joe and Joe were scoring very well! We stood on the last one down when Willie chipped to a foot to secure a win and halve the match. It was a lot of fun. Half

Match 5

Pete Rodger and Mick Grimes v Gerry O'Donohoe and Mick Rowe

Would you believe it, a great game with great company? (Come on, lads, add a bit more detail. Tell us about the cut and thrust, the missed putts, and the outrageous hole-out on the 6th, Ed.) Sussex couldn't match Gerry's three birdies and Mick's one. Lost 2&1.

Match 6

Tony Metcalf (Sussex Debutante) and Malcolm Holmes v Ken Parker and Suzanna Gillett

Due to a late withdrawal, Sussex were a player short. Fortunately, Tony stepped in to make up the numbers. Sadly, for London, Tony managed to make some crucial halves, with the match getting to the 17th before we ran out winners. Won 2&1

Match 7

Mitch Clarke and Kevin Heanen v David Soar and Paul Herting

This was a memorial (memorable, surely? Ed). Mitch used to play rugger with Dave at Osterley Rugby Club some 60 years ago. Oh, how we reminisced over those halcyon days. The match finished with an honourable half. Half.

Match 8

Terry Vanhinsbergh and Ian Richmond v Brian Gillet and Brian Thay (London are at it now. Ed)

According to the team sheet, we were playing Brain and Brain (Brains, yes, it's another Thunderbirds gag, Ed). What chance did we have against Thunderbirds' genius? Anyway, enough of the cliches. It was hot, good company, good game, lots of ham and egg. We won with Ian's 3 net 2 on the last. Won 1 up.

Match 9

Richard Bevan and Fahim Uddin v David Stiff and John Wainwright

As always, this match lived up to expectations. It was a really hot day, but the course and the golf were amazing. (Really? I've seen you play. I know there's poetic license, but… Ed). Shame we lost the last hole to a freak chip. Half

Match 10

Ian Potter and Bev Legg v Gordon Tindale and Alan MacWilliam

We were all square after nine; it looked like it was going to be a long day. Gordon and Alan made a real game of it until Mr Potter got into overdrive and we cruised to a fine win. Still in awe of Gordon (86), who still managed to carry his club. Won 4&3

Result Sussex 6 ½ - 3 ½ London

So, London were roasted, flambéed and char-grilled. Sussex were too hot to handle; they smoked the opposition.

Thank you to everyone at Ealing for a great day, for excellent company, food, and much-needed ice cream!